Recount

Kia ora

Here is the recount I wrote  for an Asttle writing test in Week 4.  Our teacher marked all our recounts and gave us our scores. Mine came out at Level 3b  which is at the end of year standard for Year Five. I got the best marks for structure and sentences and the worst marks for ideas, vocabulary and punctuation. 

We helped each other improve them by reading each other’s recount and talking about them. We also used Revision Assistant to help edit each other’s story and Mrs B added some notes as well. Everyone in our room likes Revision Assistant because it’s easy to understand the marks/ notes that it puts on your writing and so it’s quick for us to go and do the fix-ups. I hope someone will give me some feedback.

Ka kite ano

Term 4 2016  recount sample A time with whanau:                                                                    Name: Mia

Title: Christmas

Paragraph Plan: 1.Waking up 2.Eating lunch 3.Opening presents

“Yay!” I screamed as I woke in my bed. It was the 25th of December and all my family were coming from Auckland to Ohaeawai for that one special day. “It's CHRISTMAS!” I shouted as I woke everyone in the house up. Once everyone woke up Mum said,“Gather all the presents and take them next door to Nana’s house.” As everyone gathered up the presents Mum said, “You can open one each here, Mia,Samuel and Tyra.” So we did. We ripped them open like cheetahs scoffing down their lunch. As we arrived next door lunch was set at the table outside. It was full of meat, fish and salads. We took the presents into the garage as fast as we could without tripping over and placed them carefully under the Christmas tree. After that everyone circled themselves around the table of food and blessed it. Once we did the blessing we ate until we were full. Once we had finished eating Nana declared, “Everyone into the garage, it’s time to open all the presents.”So we all trotted to the garage for the gifts. Poppa called out the names as the person came to receive it. Everyone loved their presents. Everyone thanked the person who gave the gift to them.I felt so happy. Today was the best day ever. I wonder what next Christmas is going to be like?